obviously buying is cheaper.
We all play a role in the family or romantic unit. There is a leader, a scapegoat, the smart one, the musical one, the pretty one. And each member expects the other to live up to that. However, in an open system, as stated earlier, each member should be allowed to change. The drunk, deadbeat can get a job and make a life for himself. The abusive one can get anger management and treat others with kindness. We can act our way into new thinking by acting as if. Acting as if is acting as if I were a good worker, acting as if I were kind. The concept was originally proposed by William James and is very popular in recovery (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fake_it_till_you_make_it ). However, in dysfunctional families, changing is met with resistance because it upsets the system. Change is met with anger, impasse blockage and hardening of positions to save face (p.68). Values, patterns disrupted, inequality, and family members are angry at changes.
If we can relate to what the other person is saying there is a positive emotional climate; If not, there a heaviness in the air. Every place has an emotional atmosphere (p.26).
check engine light on? http://www.carmd.com/40.5/article/check-engine-light-on
You don’t have to worry or be controlled by your circumstances. You can be like the eagle and rise above.