from the depths, I cry to you, O LORD

I went to Barnes and Noble last night and read more about deliverance. I asked to be delivered not only from hurts, but the deep hurts. The ones that are stuck and need to be gouged out. I did not deserve to be abused, but something inside me said I did. I don’t know what is was, but game over now and I cannot keep bringing the poison from my past into my present or I will poison my future. I know that sounds trite, but I at least gave it a shot, worked, did the deal. I forgive. And because I love and respect myself, I will now take care of myself. I do not feel well and instead of bashing myself this morning, I asked god not to bash me either because I am nauseous and anemic and weak and I am trying my best.

Just walked into harp room to say hi to Mary and look at the harp. I am still planning on starting lessons in January. I played moonlight sonata on the piano this morning and tried to remember Gymnopedie, but could only remember main melody.  also, I am still waiting for my final grade in my class. I then plan on registering for my last class.

That Lorie lady called last night. I guess she showed the room to some guy and he said he was going to come by with a deposit, but he didn’t. I still am not super thrilled to be sharing a bathroom with a guy, but i plan on keeping it clean and casting out demons and unclean spirits, and not thrilled about not having a designated parking space, but it’s a good place and I can speak up and plan to and clean and ask that they be supportive rather than cynical.  I am the thermostat. I have a say in my environment and I can raise the ambience to a higher level. I have that authority.  I create an atmosphere of love and trust and encouragement. anyways, it looks like that is where I am going to live unless something miraculous happens in the next 24 hours.

About eagles11eyes

smart, athletic, musical
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