sweet sixteen and sadness

I celebrated 16 years of sobriety.

I am sad. I had to let something go because I needed to be honest.  But I am still sad about letting it go. Yesterday I went to Health services and got information about health centers and made an appointment about insurance.  I need to protects my most valuable asset: my health.  So got information about health care here and got GA for food.

There is a better book to study for the FTCE exam for social sciences.

because we need an educated electorate.

Upon awakening we ask that God remove from us any fears, resentments, bitterness and self-pity.  We pray for knowledge of His will and the courage to carry it out.

Played the harp this morning.  the Bridal march, Gymnopedie-which, if you haven’t guessed, is my favorite, Bird on a wire and Amazing Grace. I contacted a recording engineer about recording me.

 

  Aug 1

Happy ! President Ulysses S. Grant signed our beautiful state into existence on this date in 1876.

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Zou Bisou bisou

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Egrets have no regrets

Egrets have no regrets

they live their purpose.

so I lied, and am having an attack of guilt. I contacted them and found out how to remedy the situation. Honesty, amends.  I have to be honest though even if it hurts.  whatever the results are, I have the ability to handle it and to make a decision that will protects and help me.

UPDATE: I called the organization, told the truth and benefits were disocntinued.  Also I registered to vote here: Democrat!!

“I saw people who were hostile; they had felt so much hurt that hostility was their only defense against being crushed again.”
Melody Beattie, Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself

t Harv Eker video.

the Photo Ark by Joel Sartore

Photo: A bald eagle (Haliaeetus leucocephalus) named Bensar at the George M. Sutton Avian Research Center.   Photo by Joel Sartore for the Photo Ark

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Look, what else is there

so yesterday I got on a website called Thumbtack.

it’s where you can get services and offer your services.  Another place to make money.  then I called someone for a prayer request and without mentioning that I was on this site, she also suggested it.

look for opportunities, not problems.

 

kd lang interview on NPR Music:  kd lang

https://www.npr.org/player/embed/536522399/537013223

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Screenplay and dramas

I did it! I entered The Senator’s Wife into the Vail film Festival Screen Writer’s Competition: http://www.vailfilmfestival.com/screenplay-contest-2017/

Seem the senator’s Wife has a secret and it could prevent him from getting elected. Oh no!  But as we say in recovery, you’re only as sick as your secrets and she finds out the the truth can set her free, and everybody else too.

So I have a sponsee who loves drama and not the screenplay type.  It seems she needs the emergency of the day. But I don’t play. You’ve got to want to get your life together.  Seriously, I am so over “you know who?” and her stalking and instability.  Not just her, but all jezebels.  I know it’s hard; I have so been there and wanted somebody to come and save me.  But I had to take action. I had to get sober. I had to work the steps.  I had to step up.  Rise up Zaccheus, the Lord has need of you.  You’ve got to let go of the need to have this condition.  Believe me folks, I am trying,

 

Here is a good article about overcoming PTSD with music.

That is why I want to play the harp, to heal myself and others.

and yeah, I would like to earn an income doing it-there is nothing wrong with wanting to earn lots of money doing something joyful and that lifts others up.  I earn money in joyful and awesome ways!

 

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Eleven eyes

to look behind and reflect: what did I do right, who do I need to forgive and let go of and what can I gain a new perspective on instead of being bitter about it?

To look inside: what do I need to stop doing or thinking that is not working for me anymore.  What do I need to start thinking and doing?

To look at whose other opinion I am hanging on to and let go of the need for approval.  the only person who needs to approve is my inside guts telling me this is right, this is alive.

To look around: oh, there are other people on this earth. To be with those who build life and liberty instead of those who tear you down. To see beauty and to ask God, the Creator to help me see what is good, what is pure, what is lovely.

To look ahead, into the future where possibilities still exist.  To play for others, to visit beautiful places, to sign petitions and call those in political office to take action to get the tyrants out of office. So we can have a fair society.

 

to look up to a higher power, to that power that says , yes, be more, increase my territory, that guides, that flushes out the dirt and cleanses me, so I can be fresh. That power that says take action and be fierce. Our God is a warrior, not a liar, not a con artist.  Our God is the pure air, that gives you space and place and liberty.

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one moment

at a time

what can I do today to take positive action toward a dream or a goal?

 

to handle what needs to be handled.

I know it’s hard.  I know what it’s like to want to give up.  Life is a push: push against the defeating forces that try to hold you down and to get up again and try and need and not get into desperation.  To try to live in abundance and make gratitude lists.

Stop squandering though.  Good use of energy.  God hear my cry!

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