Don’t worry about what other people think of you.

and Don’t take anything personally.

QUOTES from don Miguel Ruiz:

“Taking things personally is a set up for suffering. It makes you easy prey for other people’s emotional poison; they can hook your attention with one little opinion and feed you whatever poison they want.”

“When we take things personally, we feel offended, and our reaction is to defend our beliefs and create a conflict. We make a big drama out of something so little.”

“When you truly understand this and take nothing personally, it doesn’t matter who gossips about you, who blames you, who rejects you, who disagrees with your point of view. Whatever people say doesn’t affect you because you are immune to their opinions and their emotional poison.”

QUESTIONS FOR YOU:

Do you take things personally, feel deeply hurt or angry, and say things that you later regret?

Do you lie awake at night reliving unpleasant conversations or situations in your life that make you feel angry, anxious, and upset?

@JoyceMeyer

Speak this over your life: “God, I give you my reputation. I’m not going to spend my life worrying about what people think about me. I am going to be free to be who I am and be led by You and do what I believe You want me to do, and whatever people think, it’s up to them.”

I am a combination of both the good and the bad. like everyone else. At least I am able to acknowledge that. It’s called either reflection or the sixth and seventh step. I’m sorry for my hurtful words, anger, actions. Yet, at the same time, I am not subjecting myself to gaslighting, deceit or being put down.

Through my thirties and forties, I would occasionally succumb to the yearning, drop everything, and run as fast as I could to visit the home within me. The door to my internal spiritual home would be one simple experience, one encounter with a thin place—maybe sitting in my car listening to Loretta Lynn sing “How Great Thou Art,” or an afternoon swim with God in Lake Travis, or one night praying the Daily Examen. But then, after that visit, I would leave and go back to my first-half-of-life world. I’d describe this first-half-of-life spirituality as the ebb and flow of [the Greek words] nostos and alga, homecoming and pain.  

Over the past two years, I’ve found that I’m more spiritually homesick than not. Spiritual homesickness has become an almost daily dulling grief. It’s not depression or exhaustion. It’s an uncomfortable knowing that I’m coming to the end of one thing and the beginning of the next. I’m leaving and arriving. There’s fear, but there’s also joyful anticipation.  

Today, when I return home to the place in me where God dwells, I’m no longer interested in making it a quick visit so I can run back to the world of “what other people think” and “what I can get done.” Today, I can barely be dragged out of the house. I’m drawn to different conversations and deeper connections.  Credit: Brené Brown, “Nostos and Alga: Returning Home in the Second Half of Life,” foreword to Falling Upward: A Spirituality for the Two Halves of Life, by Richard Rohr, rev. ed. (Hoboken, NJ: Jossey-Bass, 2024), vii, ix–x. 

Recovery Prayer

Recovery Prayer

This prayer is based on a section of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous:

Thank you for keeping me straight yesterday. Please help me stay straight today.

For the next twenty-four hours, I pray for knowledge of Your will for me only, and the power to carry that through.

Please free my thinking of self-will, self-seeking, dishonesty, and wrong motives.

Send me the right thought, word, or action. Show me what my next step should be. In times of doubt and indecision, please send Your inspiration and guidance.

I ask that You might help me work through all my problems, to Your glory and honor.

This prayer is a recovery prayer. It can take us through any situation. In the days ahead, we’ll explore the ideas in it. If we pray this prayer, we can trust it has been answered with a yes.

Today, I will trust that God will do for me what I cannot do for myself. I will do my part – working the Twelve Steps and letting God do the rest.

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved. 

I decided to not go to the luncheon. I am watching my diet since I am swimming and running, and don’t want to get fat! Also, the conversation may turn to politics and I do not discuss politics at a church function. I am a Democrat! and yes, I am a Christian, but you can be a Christian and a Democrat! EDITED: I am caught between two worlds. Being a Christian yet being a democrat and holding those values. Here is data from the Pew Research: Pew Research and Christian Democrats of America.

I don’t agree with everything my brothers and sisters in Christ do, but I love the Lord and I also do not agree with everything that people in AA and recovery do, but I stay sober and work the steps.

Chart of Risk Factors for Harassment

• a lack of or low levels of diversity (e.g. the workforce is dominated by one gender, age, race, religion, or the like)
• it is hierarchical and/or has power imbalances
• that there are worker interactions with clients, customers, or members of the public (either face-to-face or at a distance), which may give rise to third-party sexual harassment and violence
• there is a workplace culture that supports or tolerates harassment and violence, including lower level (but still harmful) forms of harassment that can escalate to other forms of harassment and violence
• use of alcohol in a work or work-related context
• attendance at conferences and social events as part of work duties, including overnight travel
• workers being isolated, which may include working in:
  • restrictive spaces like cars, vans, or trucks
  • residential premises
  • living in employer-provided accommodation
  • working from remote locations with limited supervision
  • having reduced or restricted access to help and support
• working from home via online or phone communication
• poor education on sexual harassment and violence amongst workplace leaders.

Source: https://www.eeoc.gov/chart-risk-factors-harassment-and-responsive-strategies

Finished the course on Harassment and how to Respond. Here is the certificate:

Responding to Sexual Harassment

I might add age discrimination as well.

CONGRESSIONAL STATEMENT OF FINDINGS AND PURPOSE

SEC. 621. [Section 2]

(a) The Congress hereby finds and declares that-

(1) in the face of rising productivity and affluence, older workers find themselves disadvantaged in their efforts to retain employment, and especially to regain employment when displaced from jobs;

(2) the setting of arbitrary age limits regardless of potential for job performance has become a common practice, and certain otherwise desirable practices may work to the disadvantage of older persons;

(3) the incidence of unemployment, especially long-term unemployment with resultant deterioration of skill, morale, and employer acceptability is, relative to the younger ages, high among older workers; their numbers are great and growing; and their employment problems grave;

(4) the existence in industries affecting commerce, of arbitrary discrimination in employment because of age, burdens commerce and the free flow of goods in commerce.

(b) It is therefore the purpose of this chapter to promote employment of older persons based on their ability rather than age; to prohibit arbitrary age discrimination in employment; to help employers and workers find ways of meeting problems arising from the impact of age on employment.

Good luck trying to prove it however!

I don’t have the option to give up.

I have applied for another job. Still nothing yet. I am applying for jobs I want. Of course you apply for jobs you want, you say. Well, I apply for jobs that I don’t want than get into a dilemma. Set myself up for success I have had some interesting interviews. Good ol’ Southern boys, people who don’t know want they want; others, I just don’t get. I don’t take it personally. some are age discrimination. I am not that old. I still look young, I exercise, I color my hair. I am still pretty. At least, I think so. I need to work. I want to work. I have financial goals and being able to support myself and having enough money for retirement is two of them.

Financial Goals

Taking responsibility for our financial affairs will improve our self-esteem and lessen anxiety.

Each of us, today, has a present set of financial circumstances. We have a certain amount of money in hand, and money due to us. We have a pile of bills that we owe. We have taxes to pay. Those are our present financial circumstances. No matter what the details are, acceptance, gratitude, and self-responsibility will lessen the stress.

Each of us, today, has a financial future. There are few future aspects of our life we can control, but one part we can play to assist our future is setting goals.

We don’t have to obsess about our goals. We don’t have to constantly watch and mark our progress toward them. But it is beneficial to think about our goals and write them down. What do we want to happen in our financial future? What financial problems would we like to solve? What bills would we like to be rid of? What would we like to be earning at the end of this year? The end of next year? Five years from now?

Are we willing to work for our goals and trust our Higher Power to guide us?

Pay bills on time. Contact creditors. Make arrangements. Do your best, today, to take responsibility for your finances. Set goals for the future. Then, let go of money and concentrate on loving. Taking responsibility for our financial affairs does not mean making money our focus. Taking responsibility for our finances enables us to take our focus off money. It frees us to do our work and live the life we want.

We deserve to have the self-esteem and peace that accompanies financial responsibility.

Today, I will take the time necessary to be responsible for myself financially. If it is time to pay bills or talk to creditors, I will do that. If it is time to set goals, I will do that. Once I have done my part, I will let the rest go.

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved. No portion of this publication may be reproduced in any manner without the written permission of the publisher.

Debating whether to go to the American Harp Society convention.

Facing our Dark sides

Facing Our Darker Side

Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
  Step Four of Al-Anon

By the time we get to the Fourth of the Twelve Steps, we are ready to face our darker side, the side that prevents us from loving others, from letting others love us, and from enjoying life and ourselves. The purpose of Step Four is not to make ourselves feel worse; our purpose is to begin to remove our blocks to joy and love.

We look for fears, anger, hurt, and shame from past events – buried feelings that may be affecting our life today. We search for subconscious beliefs about others and ourselves that may be interfering with the quality of our relationships. These beliefs say: I’m not lovable . . . I’m a burden to those around me . . . People can’t be trusted . . . I can’t be trusted . . . I don’t deserve to be happy and successful . . . Life isn’t worth living. We look at our behaviors and patterns with an eye toward discerning the self-defeating ones. With love and compassion for ourselves, we try to unearth all our guilt – earned and unearned – and expose it to the light.

We perform this examination without fear of what we shall find, because this soul searching can cleanse us and help us feel better about ourselves than we ever dreamt possible.

God, help me search out the blocks and barriers within myself. Bring what I need to know into my conscious mind, so I can be free of it. Show me what I need to know about myself. From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation

April Flowers, Boundaries

Your response to others trains them how to act around and to you. If you let their anger decide your course of action, then you have just trained them how to get what they want. And once you stop doing that, they’re going to get angry. It means you’ve finally put your foot down and set some limits about how you are willing to be treated by others and what people can expect from you. People get mad because the way things were before really worked for them. Once they hear a “no” or get told that they’ve hit a limit, they’re like, “Hey, wait a minute, we had a good thing going here. Why are you doing this to me?” Bottom line is that when you begin to set boundaries, you will run into anger. Learn to deal with others’ anger at http://Boundaries.me. You’ll find on-demand workshops from me and daily coaching to help you set and maintain a firm “no.”

Don’t lie to me, don’t hurt me, don’t threaten me, don’t deny my experience by gaslighting me. I deserve good too.

Frustration, Patience and Easter

This sums it up:

I have a feeling I should paint what I am supposed to paint. So I sit. And there my hand moves and I made a picture.
Norval Morriseau

The writer sits, head in hands, amid a mound of crumpled paper wads. The deadline is tomorrow and not even the first paragraph is written. The writer has been working nonstop since the early morning hours. Frustration pushes the writer up from the chair and out on a long walk in the woods to the stream. After an hour of plunging through lush woods, a rest by the stream listening to the sounds of the rippling water is refreshing. Back at the typewriter, the fingers move, the words flow, the job is done.

Sometimes we need to quiet ourselves to let our inner resources flow through our outer noise. We are always doing what we are supposed to do. Even when things don’t seem to come together just right, there is a purpose; even if only to let us know we need to do something else for a while.

How much simpler our lives can be if we only have the faith to accept what happens as a guidepost along a path that is naturally correct.

Am I frustrated with something I should step away from? Or move a different direction?

From Today’s Gift: Daily Meditations for Families ©1985, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation. 

Also, happy Easter.

Gossiping, punishing, poor customer service

I went on an interview this morning and the guy painted a confusing picture of what the job tasks are, and I had a confused look on my face. He also gossiped about his general manager and other people. So, no, I felt uncomfortable with that. It was by a Tiny House community and the tiny houses looked nice.

Also, the other day, I had to wait almost 18 minutes for my coffee. The barista said it would be 6 minutes, but she left her post and I waited and waited, for 18 minutes, and asked if someone else could help me. Instead of apologizing for the inconvenience, she chopped my head off. so I filled out the survey and contacted management. The coffee was ready this morning and the barista apologized, but the other lady gave me a dirty look. Excuse me, you make me wait and you are mad at me for saying something. It is a spiritual axiom that whenever we are upset, something is wrong inside us. She needs to look at her customer service skills and let it go.

Williams and bills

I know three Williams: my grandfather was named William, but everyone called him bill. My former landlord was named William, but we called him Bill. And my best friends husband is William but we call him Bill. Also, I am paying my bills tomorrow because I get to pay and have insurance and a place to live and gas and other things we have to pay for. we get to pay for that service.

If it’s any consolation, I get annoyed by other Christians too. I get annoyed by everybody actually. “It is a spiritual axiom that every time we are disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with us,” notes the author of Twelve Steps for Twelve Traditions another core text for people in recovery. “If somebody hurts us and we are sore, we are in the wrong also. Step 10, AA

Timing

Timing can be frustrating. We can wait and wait for something to happen, and it seems to be forever until it comes to pass. Or, suddenly, an event or circumstance is thrust upon us, catching us by surprise. Believing that things happen too slowly or too quickly is an illusion. Timing is perfect.

Today, I will trust and work with Divine Order. I will accept the timing in my life today and in my past as being perfect.

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation

Speaking of time, this Daylight Savings time really wacked up my sleep schedule and now I am driving in the dark in the morning. Me no like! Everything in it’s time, right?

They say time heals all wounds. It doesn’t, facing ourselves, reflecting, making amends, forgiving, doing the inner work and acceptance, heals all wounds.

featuring kd lang