The soundtrack of high school

I was saddened to hear about ric Ocasek dying. I listened and was obsessed with the Cars during high school and had ric’s solo album Beatitudes. 

like, the past really is over. And this is the present. it is what it is.

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his last doodle.

Have faith. It’s not practical, but that’s the secret.

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Teachers, mom

UPDATE: Speaking of teachers, so I went to a meeting and another person shared her story and how she overcame being in jail and then returned to school to get an MFA in Writing and Social work and is a writer and a teacher. And I thought, god, you did it for her, show me how to lay down my agenda and resentments, get with you and help me and be there to help me and help me let go and not to too attached and be willing to live through the uncomfortable feelings and others freak out fears as i move forward, so I too can have a great life.

So, basically, that sums it up.

also saw the full moon.

Today would have been mom’s 89th birthday had she lived. She was a teacher, curriculum coordinator and taught reading. I would like to teach, educate and heal others, oh and get to travel and give to causes and have a fulfilling life. you know, healthy, normal stuff.

Good relationships, not toxic.


No person is your enemy, no person is your friend, and every person is your teacher.
  —Florence Scovel Shinn

We can open ourselves to opportunities today. They abound in our lives. No circumstance we find ourselves in is detrimental to our progress. No relationship with someone at work or at home is superfluous to our development. Teachers are everywhere. And as we become ready for a new lesson, one will appear.

We can marvel at the wonder of our lives today. We can reflect on our yesterdays and be grateful for the lessons they taught. We can look with hopeful anticipation at the days ahead – gifts, all of them. We are on a special journey, serving a special purpose, uniquely our own. No barrier, no difficult person, no tumultuous time is designed to interrupt our progress. All experiences are simply to teach us what we have yet to learn.

Trusting in the goodness of all people, all situations, all paths to progress will release whatever our fears, freeing us to go forth with a quicker step and an assurance that eases all moments.

The Twelve Steps help us to recognize the teachers in our lives. They help us clear away the baggage of the past and free us to accept and trust the will of God, made known to us by the teachers as they appear.

I am a student of life. I can learn only if I open my mind to my teachers.

From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey © 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved. Published 1982. Second edition 1991. No portion of this publication may be reproduced in any manner without the written permission of the publisher.


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let’s get sympathetic over the parasympathetic system

the parasympathetic system:

The parasympathetic nervous system is one of three divisions of the autonomic nervous system.

Sometimes called the rest and digest system, the parasympathetic system conserves energy as it slows the heart rate, increases intestinal and gland activity, and relaxes sphincter muscles in the gastrointestinal tract.  Credit: Science daily

The parasympathetic nervous system (PNS) controls homeostasis and the body at rest and is responsible for the body’s “rest and digest” function. The sympathetic nervous system (SNS) controls the body’s responses to a perceived threat and is responsible for the “fight or flight” response.
Image result for parasympathetic nervous system

Also, Dr. Henry Cloud on grief, and how we don’t always attract something, but it happens to make us stronger:

Hi everyone,

In 2008, I lost three people in a period of a few months. Both of my parents died, one right after the other; and then my brother-in-law, Mark, a Navy SEAL, was killed in Iraq. It was one of the most challenging times I had ever been through.

A few months later, I got a call from a media person I sometimes work with, and he asked how I was doing. I told him, “Not so well,” and explained that I had just gone through three deaths of people very close to me. As a New Ager who believes that everything comes from the Law of Attraction, he said, “You had better figure out how you’re attracting so much death into your life and deal with it.”

I was stunned. I was not really hurt by his words, as I did not know him well enough for him to hurt me, but I was shocked that someone would actually believe that and say it to someone grieving. Amazing … like I had caused their deaths in some way.

But in my experience, I’ve talked with many who have been blamed by others for the atrocities that happened to them — as if they were somehow asking for it. Do not blame yourself for bad things that happen to you, or for the bad treatment that others inflict on you. God affirms that some people truly are innocent victims who are mistreated at the hands of other people. Do not blame yourself for their actions when you have been victimized. Dr. Henry cloud


speaking of clouds, got to swim this morning and see the clouds and the sky.  Healthy

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T.S. Eliot, the eagle and privileged

I saw some one today with the initials t.s. and it reminded me of the t.s. Eliot poem the eagle. I can’t find it online, but here are his quotes: T.S.Eliot quotes.

Also, I am reading a book right now about Unlearning privilege and oppression. We who can read forget about those who cannot; we who are mobile and agile have disdain for the handicapped and frail, those who are smart have short patience with those who are dim but they have heart and compassion that we do not. those who are white do not understand the black or other color experience; those who have great health care do not understand government assistant and community hospitals.

Don’t take it for granted.

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UPDATE: The rain passed and it’s a beautiful day and things are gonna get back and running by Friday. It came to pass.

I haven’t been posting because stuff is going on. Hurricane Dorian is on it’s way, so they are closing the pool and all the usual places are preparing. I can always  walk instead of swim. Anyways, fights at the gas stations. Too busy this morning at the one i usually go to. So on the way to school, I stop at another wawa and get a pump. I go in to pay and as i am looking out the window, someone pulls up behind me, pays with his card, takes the handle and starts pumping. So I go out to confront him and tell him how rude. He was like settle down and breathe and I was like don’t cut in line. But it’s true, settle down. I am upset because I won’t be able to swim. I might sneak in and take my chances. But I have learned every action has a consequence. UPDATE: they locked it. I am disappointed but have to practice acceptance. Locked, but I walked.

Colorful sunset last night though:


Credit:  @GraceTrujillo       In case u didn’t get to see the sunset in Orlando tonight:)


also, this one: Image

Credit:        @TourAmericaTV                   

Sandra from our Orlando team sent us this stunning sunset photo from last night in Orlando.


playing harp in the hurricane:

oh and this was the devotional today:

The answer, my friend, is blowin’ in the wind, the answer is blowin’ in the wind.
—Bob Dylan

A family is like a wind chime; each member hangs in delicate balance with the others. When a problem develops for one family member, the rest of us often take on roles to try and deal with the situation. But what happens to our wind chime when we’re all pulling and pushing in different directions? Our balance is lost and we either all clash together or none of our chimes connect at all and there is only painful silence.

If we let go and trust in that spiritual force beyond ourselves, we discover that it is like the wind. It moves our wind chime gently with a soothing breeze that allows us to relax in our places or move together as the force directs us. It brings out the beautiful harmonious notes we weren’t able to produce ourselves.

How can I help us make better music together today?  From Today’s Gift: Daily Meditations for Families ©1985, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America. No portion of this publication may be reproduced in any manner without the written permission of the publisher.


Into each life some rain must fall. Some days must be dark and dreary.
—Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Coping with problems and weathering troubled times – is part of life. Those of us who have survived painful experiences have a duty to help younger ones prepare to face bad times by sharing the solutions we found.

When stormy weather comes, we need to feel we are like other people. It’s not that misery loves company, but that we don’t want to feel we’re in this alone.

We will never have perfect living conditions. The only place where every day is a sunny one is in the desert. When pain comes, we can walk through our problems and settle things quickly, rather than prolonging the hurt by battling our way around the obstacles in an effort to avoid them.

What problem can I confront and eliminate today?

From Today’s Gift: Daily Meditations for Families ©1985, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America. No portion of this publication may be reproduced in any manner without the written permission of the publisher.
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trying to figure out the meaning of a dream

in the dream, I am going from classroom to classroom, which makes sense because i am still substitute teaching (and appreciate it). Then I get on a train and am speaking with Kurt Vonnegut about writing (which makes sense because I am a writer) . but then I miss my stop and end up at the next one and there are no more trains going back and so I check the bus schedule. The others were waiting for me at the last stop, one of them I think was my sister.

So maybe it’s about moving ahead and leaving others behind, but the Kurt Vonnegut thing? 

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Row, Row, Row Your Boat

water, flow


Row, Row, Row Your Boat
Gently down the Stream
Merrily, Merrily, Merrily, Merrily

Life is But a Dream.

We all remember the song. It is part of our childhood and our psyches. But it isn’t just a song, it is a way of life meant to guide us through the waters of life.

The first word is row. We have to row. We cannot sit there expecting life to hand us what we want. We were created to be productive. If we look at the biblical account, God created man and then put him to work.

“The happy people,” said the philosopher Galen, “ are those producing something.”

While sitting on a beach watching and listening to the ebb and flow of life sounds like paradise, after a couple days I would want to get started on a project. We have this inherent need to contribute to life and the unique contribution gives us meaning. When we are takers and not givers in life, we stop the flow. We need to maintain a balance of giving and receiving-that is our ebb and flow.

Row, Row, Row
However, maintaining enthusiasm and motivation may be an obstacle. That is why we have to find ways to motivate ourselves so we keep rowing, and rowing, and rowing. Possible solutions to maintaining enthusiasm could be writing down our goals. This solidifies our goals and ignites the flame of enthusiasm in us. In the New Testament book of Timothy, Chapter 2, Verse 6, it says “to stir up the flame gift inside of us.”

Perhaps you cannot see the end result of your efforts. Because life is so daily, we often get caught up in daily routines, unable to see the larger picture. This is where we must create our larger picture. Just like goals written down help express what we want, poster boards with visuals give us a picture of what we want so we can visualize it and make it a reality.

Your Boat

Simon Bailey, speaker and writer of the Imagination Institute in Orlando, Florida, said in an article entitled, Rules of Engagement that “You are responsible for creating your own career path. It is not the Human Resources department’s job to hold your hand and show you how to get ahead.” You are responsible for making your life enjoyable.

This principle also means that we are responsible for our own boats. No one else can navigate our boats for us nor do we navigate someone else’s. Sometimes we get so focused on someone else’s boat that we do not see the improvements we need to make on our own. This leads to envy and pride which do us no good. Steer clear of those deadly sins by realizing each person is only responsible for their own boat and will report to his or her Creator individually.

Gently Down the Stream
Are you a go with the flow type or do interruptions and awry plans squeeze you like a toothpaste tube? People who cannot be flexible feel the need to be in control and lack trust in a higher power. The stream has been there way before your boat came into existence. It knows where it is going and longs to bring you your hearts’ desires. Yet we lack trust in this “higher power” or this peaceful path.

“As your faith is strengthened, you will find that there is no longer the need to have a sense of control, that things will flow as they will, and that you will flow with them, to your great delight and benefit.” Said the philosopher Emmanuel.

Another lesson I have learned is to just do the footwork and let the results happen. If I have done all that is within my power to do, I have to let it go.

“But it’s going down the drain not the stream!” you may say to yourself. We have expectations and unfortunately, many circumstances are out of our control. This is where we practice acceptance of what really is. We are unhappy because we didn’t get what we want, but don’t we cause our own unhappiness by holding on to those expectations? Living on the basis of unsatisfied demands, we are in a state of continual disturbance. No peace was to be had unless we could find a means of reducing these demands. Acceptance and working with what we have is a good way to reduce those demands.

Merrily, Merrily, Merrily, Merrily
How does a person maintain a positive attitude when our minds are inundated with negative and pessimistic messages and when life hands us disappointments? Instead of dwelling on the negative message, acknowledge it, but then turn your attention to something pleasurable or to someone you can help. What has helped me is to memorize positive quotations, verses of scripture and to start hanging around positive, motivated people. Also, I have turned off the nightly news. I don’t need to go to bed with that stuff in my mind. This practice takes training. Just like the paths of rain are impinged upon the sands, our thought patterns and the stories we tell ourselves are inculcated into our psyches. When we help another person, when we take a risk, when we try something new, even if it is taking another route to work, we are changing our conscious thoughts which will eventually reach our subconscious over time. Eventually, we find we have a better outlook on life.

Making a gratitude list and expecting something good today is another way to maintain happiness. When we realize what we do have and what we have accomplished, our self-esteem rises and we feel we can rise to the occasion.

Make time to do what you love. Follow your bliss, as Joseph Campbell said.

Get a friend. Trouble shared is trouble halved. Additionally, garner a support team, a group of trusted friends whose advice you respect and can provide encouragement. This can be a dream team, a support group or just a group of trusted individuals who can offer you perspective.

Life is But a Dream
“Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken-winged bird that cannot fly.” – Langston Hughes

Admit it, you have a dream. It could be one from childhood or one you have recently discovered. Our Creator put that dream inside of us so we would follow it and benefit humanity. We have an obligation to use our talents, gifts and resources to benefit others.
“But I have bills…I have a family…What would my friends think?… I have already invested twenty years in this job I don’t like…I won’t make as much money as I do now.”

Oh, get over it! We all have bills to pay. I had to work full-time before my writing career took off, but am now able to support myself doing what I love. Even if I didn’t make a living at it, I still would have contributed to others and have found some meaning.

As far as what others would think, we spend way too much time and energy caring what others think about us rather than thinking about what we think about us. We compromise our integrity to be liked, make money or because we fear rejection. Or it could be that we are afraid of shining because we don’t want others to criticize us because their comfort zones are threatened. Face it: whenever someone makes it, whatever “it” is, we feel a pang inside that says we could be doing better. Please don’t shoot the messenger, but we could be doing better. Life is but a dream that we are constantly reaching for. If it were not, we would have no reason to go on.

So keep rowing, navigate your boat, stay merry and dream.

by Regina Russell


Eagles11eyes's Blog

Row, Row, Row your Boat, Gently Down the Stream
Merrily, Merrily, Merrily, Merrily, Life is but a Dream

Remember the round, “Row, Row, Row your Boat?” Of course you do. It is a part of our childhood and culture. Not only is this traditional Scottish round a song, but it is a guideline to navigate through the seas of life as well. So loosen your moorings and set sail for new shores.

First of all we have to row. We can’t sit there expecting life to just happen to us. We were created to be productive. When God created Adam, the first thing he did was put Adam to work.

“The happy people,” says the philosopher Galen, “are those who are producing something.”

While sitting on a tropical island day after day watching the tide ebb and flow may seem like paradise, after just a few days, I’d want…

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