Census, Snap, three things for good mental, physical and financial health.

i took the census today and got counted as a person. I hid it from landlady who only thinks of herself. I will tell her later, like in October.

SNAP is a acronym for snide and punishing which is my default action. It’s a defense mechanism I use to protect myself, which is a good thing for survival, but really, I could still be kind and respectful which is abbreviated KARE. I think it’s a good idea to not panic and be in this fear. the lady next to me went into fear and panic and I shut her down, which is what I ought to have done with the someone else the other day to protect my energy.

so, the three things are:

a good cry, over what they did, what I did, and to get it out of the system.

a good poop, to get it out of the system,

and a good paycheck, from honest, ethical work where I interacted with others with some sort of integrity.

Just my contribution for the day.

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Tree, Gymnopedie, Boundary


There is a tree in front of me, that stands firm when the winds blow and the rain comes and it trusts and has stable roots.

Dr. Henry Cloud, Boundaries:

Why is it so important to overcome fear?

Your boundaries define what is you and what is not you. They tell you what you will allow in your life and what you won’t allow in your life. If fear dictates your boundaries, however, you could be hurting yourself more than you’re helping yourself. If fear has a large presence in your life, it keeps your world small. You can’t experiences the things you were created for. At the same time, if we’re afraid of saying no, and our world is too open, the wrong things come on to our property.

  • If you have to do something that’s hard, and you’re listening to the fear, that’s the wrong fear to listen to.
  • The fear of the unknown keeps us from stepping out of our comfort zone. Our brains are wired to get scared when you’ve done something you’ve never done before, but there are ways to get past that.
  • Why would we be afraid of being successful? We don’t want to make other people uncomfortable when things are going well in our lives, because maybe things aren’t going so well for theirs. But you cannot be responsible for where someone else is in their lives, and you can’t be responsible if they resent you for doing well.

Mp 3’s of me playing the harp:

Gymnopedie by Satie

the Wedding March

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Happy st. Patrick’s day (again)

Here’s another video (not from me) of Danny boy by Caitlin Heany:

Stay healthy, be health oriented.

Positive Energy

It’s so easy to look around and notice what’s wrong.

It takes practice to see what’s right.

Many of us have lived around negativity for years. We’ve become skilled at labeling what’s wrong with other people, our life, our work, our day, our relationships, our conduct, our recovery, and ourselves.

We want to be realistic, and our goal is to identify and accept reality. However, this is often not our intent when we practice negativity. The purpose of negativity is usually annihilation.

Negative thinking empowers the problem. It takes us out of harmony. Negative energy sabotages and destroys. It has a powerful life of its own.

So does positive energy. Each day, we can ask what’s right, what’s good – about other people, our life, our work, our day, our relationships, ourselves, our conduct, our recovery.

Positive energy heals, conducts love, and transforms. Choose positive energy.

Today, God help me let go of negativity. Transform my beliefs and thinking, at the core, from negative to positive. Put me in harmony with the good.

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation

This method has three steps:

  1. Notice the fearful thought
  2. Forgive the thought
  3. Proactively choose a better-feeling thought


The second step is to forgive yourself for getting caught in the thought — and forgive the thought altogether.

You may be thinking, “Why do I need to forgive myself for having a thought about something that’s real?”

We want to forgive ourselves for getting hooked into the obsessive ideas, panic and catastrophizing. (For example, maybe we’re completely healthy, but we’re constantly thinking about being unwell.) So just forgive yourself for going there. You can simply say, “I forgive this thought.”

  1. “I’m healthy right now.”
  2. “I’m taking proper precautions.”
  3. “I have what I need in this moment.”

We want sleep to be a time when we can rest, restore, let go and feel the peace that we may not be able to feel throughout the day because we’re hit with all this coronavirus anxiety.

If you can’t follow this tip for whatever reason, at least turn off all your electronics 30 minutes or an hour before you go to sleep. Put your phone in another room and set an alarm clock instead.

If you’re anxious before bed, do some journaling before you go to sleep. Just get out whatever you’re feeling so you can move it through it and then fall asleep more easily.

(You can also read up on my spiritual tips for better sleep.)

this mediation is from Gabby:

Continue this cycle of breath, envisioning this cleansing light pouring through you.

Center into any sense of relief, even if it’s slight.

See the light begin to expand outward from your heart. It’s becoming a golden shield of light protecting your whole body.

With each inhale and exhale, the golden light shield becomes bigger and stronger.

This is a shield of protection and safety that also supports everyone who comes into contact with you.

Breathe in, feeling the shield of protection around you.

Exhale and release.

Breathe in… and release.

Breathe in… and release.

Open your eyes, keeping your hands on your heart and your belly. Continue your cycle of breath. Peace instead of fear. health instead of sickeness.

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Happy Pi day on the 14th

Image result for pi
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New job, pool closing, bear market

So i got a new assignment with Kelly Services for two months and was all upset that I wouldn’t be getting to swim, but I found out today that they are closing the pool upon further notice as a precaution to this virus . The assignment required that I write an essay. Fun, fun! also, drama at home yesterday with the landlady, the daughter, the foot, the depression and the gaslighting. My god will make a way where there seems to be noway and we walk by faith not by sight. Key word: keep walking. Which I am going to have to do since the pool is closed. But we are supposed to wash each other’s feet.

also, good article about the difference between a bear market and a recession from Security financial. Just another reason to not put our hope in riches or people and that God is our safe haven. Proverbs 43.

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Danny Boy, Happy St. Patrick’s Day

Tis God gives skill, but not without men’s hands. He could not make Antonio Stradivarius violins without Antonio.
—George Eliot

When she was four years old, she climbed onto the piano stool. To her parents’ astonishment, a simple prelude she’d heard on the radio flew across the keys from her fingers. That very week they found her a teacher, and the house was filled with the music of her developing talent.

While other girls played, made the honor roll, starred on the basketball team, and dated boyfriends, she sat inside at her beloved piano and practiced. At seventeen, when she made her debut, the critics said, “She’s a natural. A genius!”

We know she was no natural, but through hard work, she made her piano playing part of her nature. When we put love into our labor, our own dreams grow into being.

Am I willing to make some sacrifices today to do the things I really want to do? From Today’s Gift: Daily Meditations for Families ©1985, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation

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Volatility, violence and voice

the markets are volatile, as is someone’s behavior. The violent words, violent thoughts which lead to violent actions, and the brave who …

who do you think you are? I am a Child of god with a voice, I am a taxpayer and a player, I make a contribution and I am someone you cannot shun.

Iyanla Vanzant@IyanlaVanzant·There comes a moment for each of us when we are compelled to assess where we are, and where we are going. When done with humility and integrity, self-examination will call us to make the necessary changes that will ultimately transform our state of being.

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